The secret to trust and respect at work: Mastering the art of listening

Strategies for gaining trust and improving team dynamics by speaking less, listening more

In this edition of our newsletter, I will discuss one of the hardest things to do in leadership but also one of the most important if you want to gain trust and respect within your team.

And that is….

Allow people to speak first.

Learning to listen first and speak second can transform your leadership style and team dynamics.

I saw this firsthand while I was a town councilperson.

The town supervisor, a young, developing leader, always read the business to accomplish and immediately added his thoughts and commentary on what should be done.

As a result, the rest of the council members didn’t have an opportunity to add our perspective.

We would disengage and tune out after it happened numerous times.

Ultimately leading to a more cohesive and high-performing team.

Unfortunately, many leaders struggle to keep their mouths shut. They often feel pressured to assert their authority, offer solutions immediately, or dominate conversations to demonstrate their leadership capabilities.

Why listening first is so difficult

There are many reasons why leaders fail to listen. Mostly, they fall into these categories:

1. Fear of Losing Control: Leaders often believe that not speaking up immediately may make them appear weak or indecisive.
2. Impatience: The fast-paced nature of business can make leaders feel they don't have time to listen fully.
3. Ego: Some leaders may think their ideas are superior and must share them immediately.
4. Lack of Awareness: Many are unaware of how powerful listening can be.
5. Poor Communication Skills: Some leaders might not know how to listen effectively without training.

There is hope.

Below are two strategies I’ve used to become an effective leader who listens.

Strategy #1 - Practice Active Listening

Active listening involves reflecting on what you hear and asking questions to deepen your understanding.

A common mistake is many leaders listen just enough to respond but not enough to understand. They miss the nuances and underlying issues their team might be facing.

Instead of formulating your response while someone is talking, focus entirely on their words. Summarize what they've said and ask follow-up questions.

A great formula is to Clarify and Confirm:

For example, if a team member mentions a project issue

• CLARIFY by saying: “So what I’m hearing is that you’re facing a bottleneck due to X.
• CONFIRM: Is that correct?
• SEEK TO UNDERSTAND: Can you tell me more about how this impacts your workflow?”

This approach ensures you fully understand the issue before jumping to conclusions or solutions, which builds trust and shows that you value their input.

Strategy #2 - WAIT

Sometimes, we need reminders to STFU.

Get a post in and write the acronym WAIT, which stands for:

• Why
• Am
• I
• Talking

​

This visual cue will help you question whether what you are saying adds value or falls victim to some of the traps of lousy listening we discussed.

To summarize (TL;DR)

1. Recognize why you feel the need to talk
2. Clarify, Confirm, and Seek to Understand
3. Remind yourself to WAIT
4. Things won't be perfect; this is a practice.

Remember, showing respect begins by listening.

Following these steps can transform your leadership. Start today, and get your light shining brightly.

I hope this advice helps you improve your leadership skills.

If you feel like you or a member of team could use more strategies for improving team dynamics, consider setting up a time with me: Book a meeting​

Do you already have a strong, cohesive team? You can find more helpful articles here: Check out the resources.

Did you miss a newsletter? More ways to #bebrilliant: Check out the newsletters.​

See you next week!

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Hi! I'm Suzanne I founded Brilliant Workplaces, a consulting agency that helps businesses with systems for Marketing, Customer, and Employee Experience.​ The #bebrilliant newsletter was created for those who want best practices and systems to build your brand, establish an authority position, and achieve personal and professional growth. Do you know someone who would love this newsletter? Please forward it and have them sign up here. ​​​